Remembering Ethan

After a nearly year long battle, my friend and former student Ethan passed away on June 9. I am so glad I made the time and effort to go to his "phat" going away party in May. I will never forget how he gave a sweet and lingering hug to me and everyone else there. He knew his time was coming, and he was going to make the most of it. That was Ethan's way.

I went to his funeral. I was surprised by the contemporary feel of the Catholic funeral mass. There was a band with guitarists, keyboardist and drummer with drumset in a booth to contain some of the excess noise. The priest gave a heartening and at times quite humorous homily as he remembered Ethan. At one time the priest had asked Ethan how he managed to carry such pain, and Ethan said, "Why, Father, I got Jesus!" and the priest mentioned being quite humbled by that comment.

There was much in the service that was centered around the resurrection. His brothers and closest friends from "the hood" (they were the hood boys as they called themselves) were his pall bearers. They donned sunglasses with brightly colored frames. They wore sneakers in bright colors. Ethan wanted for this occasion to be happy rather than sad. Attendees were asked to wear bright colors. Ethan very much had a hand in the planning of all of his funeral. Can you imagine the courage to do that? He had courage aplenty as he faced the end.

He even asked that the following note be included in the funeral program:

Wazzup everybody,
I just wanted to remind you not to be discouraged by my death, but instead to be encouraged in faith. Thank you for praying for me and remember that I'm constantly praying for you. If you know me, I'm all about cheerfulness, so don't be too sad. Live your life to the fullest, make every day count and keep on keepin' on.

Love, Ethan
P.S. The food is great here!

Of course, he would end it in humor. For this was Ethan's way. When I had him in 4th period AP his junior year, he was constantly doing things to make the class laugh. One time he ended up hitting this kid next to him, and I didn't see it, but I saw the end result--wrongly. I thought the kid he had hit had hit someone else, and yelled at the wrong person while Ethan got off scott free. The class thought it was classic. That class was good times in ways that are pretty sweet to me now.

Ethan may not have been a saint, but he certainly will grow holier with time and distance. I'm grateful he touched my life. He was one of those students I never would have forgotten regardless of the dramatic circumstances. I like to think I may have touched or influenced him in some small way. He had wanted to become an English teacher had he had the opportunity to pursue such dreams. He would have been a good one.

Ethan, you rock. Enjoy every bit of food you have up there, and may we meet again some day.