Lunching with the best

I mentioned Ms. McIntosh a number of months ago after finding out she had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer last summer. It made me so sad to hear because we all know that pancreatic cancer is mean, vicious, and takes people far too soon.  Even people with all the money in the world (Steve Jobs) don't survive it. Why did one of my favorite people have to be diagnosed with such a horrible thing? I needed to make the most of my communications and opportunities to see the wonderful woman who has left such a lasting imprint in my life.

While we were on our Montana trip last summer, we actually got together with her and Peggy for lunch in Bozeman. It was delightful and so worth the extra miles even if I did have my kids along. Saying good-bye was really hard and a bit teary. How do you say good-bye when you know this very well could be "THE" good-bye? And to think that Ms. Mac has to do this frequently in her life now. Yikes. But then again, maybe we all need to live life with such authenticity, love, and respect that we treat everyone in such a way that if it were a last good-bye, it would be enough. Not that we need to be teary and sappy, mind you. Just real.

One thing that was mentioned at that lunch months ago was that they were hoping to come to Phoenix this winter provided Kathy was well enough, and we would get together then. Well, her health has held, and they made the trek to Phoenix last weekend to visit their friends Donna and Ez, and we got to join them for lunch on Monday. It was so good to see her again.She feels very blessed to still be feeling as good as she is and to be getting a bit of a reprieve for the time being. Because she is a woman of faith, she believes the Lord has let her remain for a time, and I found such ideas so affirming and peaceful. She's still quilting, getting together with friends, living life and enjoying each day.

She is on chemo for a couple of weeks at a time and then has a couple of weeks off. The treatment does make her pretty sick during it, but she endures because it seems to be keeping the cancer from progressing for the time being. She has a faith and trust in her doctor that she is at peace with. It is the same doctor who brought her through her breast cancer 25 years ago. She knows she will not be cured, but she hopes he can give her as much time as she can have and in a way that she can enjoy her time. Right now, her friend Peggy is helping her plan a short trip every month to different places to see friends and family. This helps her spirit and helps those around her, too.

There is something very enlightening and affirming to me to see and watch a person facing the ending of his or her life with such dignity and grace. She also has some humor about it. At one point in our lunch, she referred to herself as a "short-termer"--as she was telling a story and laughing. She also made sure to have some carrot cake for dessert. She loves it, and it makes her happy.

The good-bye wasn't as hard this time. Whether this was "the" good-bye or not, it was so good to be with her. She has been such an advocate for me and one I have learned so much from. I continue to learn from her and am grateful she has been such an important part of my life. I will take whatever more I can get, and revel in it.